Archive for December, 2008
Baby Jesus and the Dinosaurs
I am so glad that Rebecca posted her daughter’s hilarious Christmas story as a comment to the More About Jesus post:
A long time ago, a T-Rex stole the Baby Jesus for ten days.
The T-Rex put it in a manger, because that’s where it goes, and watched it for a while.
Then the T-Rex decided that the [...]
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And half kai velociraptor.
Oh. But then which part of you is my boy?
(pause) The middle.
(pause) What do you mean?
You know, right down the middle!
Oh, of course.
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Mom: You need to take a bath.
Son: Oh, mom!
Mom: Really. It’s been three days. And we’re getting you a haircut today.
Son: But mom! Let me tell you something.
Mom: Hmm.
Son: Did you know that roadrunner crocodiles can go without water for ten days?
Mom: Hmm.
Son: Yeah. Did you know that they hold water in their skin?
Mom: Let [...]
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Tags: animals, older son, sweetness and light, weird names
So, it turns out that at least some kai animals (for instance, kai wildebeest) did not live at the time of the dinos. I am no longer sure what “kai” means. Something like “cool,” probably.
Speaking of “cool,” older son has announced that he never wants to hear the word “pretty” again. ”If you want to say something [...]
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Tags: animals, language, weird names
Adding to my children’s complicated religious life is the fact that they have attended day care at a local Jewish center. My older son, who is now five, has attended there since he was an infant. He used to want to be Jewish, but lately he has become more aware of the fact that I am [...]
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Tags: God, latkes, religion
More about Jesus
Bear with me, it is going to take me longer to get to the funny story this time.
First, I just discovered that at this moment if you google “punching Jesus,” the top hit is a link to one of my posts. Since on an average day this blog gets about 7 hits, I am [...]
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Tags: God, religion
Um, what do you mean? Who can marry who?
No, I mean, I mean. Can two mens marry one women?
Oh. No, not in the United States. It’s against the law. Here, only two people can get married.
Oh. (pause) That’s too bad, I don’t know what I will do then!
Why?
Cyrus wants to marry Izzy too!
Oh. (pause) Well, [...]
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That’s true. How did you know?
He doesn’t even know when he’s in big trouble.
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And yes, of course, those are kai vultures.
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Tags: Add new tag, animals, dinosaurs, older son, weird names
Not a radio. It’s a special walkie-talkie, with both voice and picture. And it turns out, older son uses it to talk to the goats. Yes, the imaginary goats still live with us, though they are always at some remote place. Sample conversation:
Goats? Over.
You need to attack it, you are in my command.
Roger, Newson. [...]
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