More about Jesus
Bear with me, it is going to take me longer to get to the funny story this time.
First, I just discovered that at this moment if you google “punching Jesus,” the top hit is a link to one of my posts. Since on an average day this blog gets about 7 hits, I am surprised that any of my posts is a top hit for anything. Really, though, I guess it shouldn’t be so surprising that such a strange phrase leads to my post. ”Punching” and “Jesus” don’t go together very well.
And that’s a good segue to the fact that I am a Quaker. Quakers (well, the modern-day Quakers I am a part of) sort of started out with Jesus, found their way to non-punching, and then eventually got less interested in Jesus as a person and more interested in what he said about not punching, loving other people, etc. At least, that’s one way to read the history.
Anyway, I don’t blog about all of this stuff much, at all, but in addition to being a Quaker, I am divorced. At my house, we go to Quaker meeting on Sunday. At dad’s house, as far as I knew, they didn’t go to church. Which leads, finally, to the funny story!
Older son: We went to the Jesus church this weekend.
Me: Oh? Who told you it was the Jesus church?
Older son: Nobody told me. I figured it out, because they kept talking about Jesus.
Me: Oh.
Older son: Yeah. (pause) And that guy asked for cash twice!
Me: (suppressing laughter) Oh, that wasn’t Jesus.
Older son: It wasn’t?
Me: No. Jesus died a long time ago.
Older son: Oh.
Needless to say, we don’t talk about Jesus all that much at Quaker meeting. Sometimes! But it depends.
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Tags: God, religion
See that. I always thought the Quaker Oats man was quoting Jesus when he said:
“Nothing is better for thee than me.”
Loved your story. I’m “convinced” and converted. And I never punched anyone’s lights out – always used a dimmer.
How about another take on the Night Before Christmas-
http://andeeroo.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/twas-the-night-before-secular-winter-holiday/
Love it. Jesus wants cash.
So I can’t resist posting my 5 yr old daughter’s recent theological story. She shared this after he uncle asked her to tell a Christmas story.
A long time ago, a T-Rex stole the Baby Jesus for ten days.
The T-Rex put it in a manger, because that’s where it goes, and watched it for a while.
Then the T-Rex decided that the Baby Jesus looked delicious, and he was going to eat it.
God is the father of Baby Jesus, and God was mad at the T-Rex, so he made the T-Rex die and he made all the T-Rex’s friends and family die, too. And the dinosaurs went extinct. Because God was mad.
Merry Christmas!