More about Jesus


Bear with me, it is going to take me longer to get to the funny story this time.  

First, I just discovered that at this moment if you google “punching Jesus,” the top hit is a link to one of my posts.  Since on an average day this blog gets about 7 hits, I am surprised that any of my posts is a top hit for anything. Really, though, I guess it shouldn’t be so surprising that such a strange phrase leads to my post.  “Punching” and “Jesus” don’t go together very well. 

And that’s a good segue to the fact that I am a Quaker.  Quakers (well, the modern-day Quakers I am a part of) sort of started out with Jesus, found their way to non-punching, and then eventually got less interested in Jesus as a person and more interested in what he said about not punching, loving other people, etc.  At least, that’s one way to read the history

Anyway, I don’t blog about all of this stuff much, at all, but in addition to being a Quaker, I am divorced.  At my house, we go to Quaker meeting on Sunday.  At dad’s house, as far as I knew, they didn’t go to church. Which leads, finally, to the funny story!  

Older son:  We went to the Jesus church this weekend.

Me:  Oh?  Who told you it was the Jesus church?

Older son:  Nobody told me.  I figured it out, because they kept talking about Jesus.

Me:  Oh.

Older son:  Yeah.  (pause) And that guy asked for cash twice!

Me: (suppressing laughter)  Oh, that wasn’t Jesus.

Older son:  It wasn’t?

Me:  No.  Jesus died a long time ago.

Older son:  Oh.

Needless to say, we don’t talk about Jesus all that much at Quaker meeting.  Sometimes!  But it depends.


3 Responses to “More about Jesus”

  1. 1 andeeroo

    See that. I always thought the Quaker Oats man was quoting Jesus when he said:
    “Nothing is better for thee than me.”

    Loved your story. I’m “convinced” and converted. And I never punched anyone’s lights out – always used a dimmer.

    How about another take on the Night Before Christmas-

  2. 2 Rebecca Blemberg

    Love it. Jesus wants cash.

    So I can’t resist posting my 5 yr old daughter’s recent theological story. She shared this after he uncle asked her to tell a Christmas story.

    A long time ago, a T-Rex stole the Baby Jesus for ten days.

    The T-Rex put it in a manger, because that’s where it goes, and watched it for a while.

    Then the T-Rex decided that the Baby Jesus looked delicious, and he was going to eat it.

    God is the father of Baby Jesus, and God was mad at the T-Rex, so he made the T-Rex die and he made all the T-Rex’s friends and family die, too. And the dinosaurs went extinct. Because God was mad.

    Merry Christmas!

  1. 1 But we eat the foods of Hanukkah! « My Pee Is Like A Shooting Star

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